Categories
Society

[34] Of I love and hate America

Almost all of the whole wide world hate the Americans right now. In Iran, the anti-American sentiment is going excessively high. Iraq, as always is disgusted by how the word United States of America sounds. I myself have a reservation toward the Americans.

Hmm…

Let me rephrase that. I don’t like the American’s ways of running the government but that does not mean I hate the Americans.

After being more than half a year here, I found myself quite pleased with the Americans’ attitude. They are friendly, helpful, cheerful and full of “what’s up?” I like them a lot.
The Malaysians are proud of their friendliness but I feel that the Americans are friendlier. They opened the door for you, they greet you ‘morning’, they say hi, they say what’s up.

Unlike us, they do not laugh at mistake committed by somebody openly. Unlike us, they are very sincere and won’t be mad when you just criticize them sincerely. I like them a lot.
I found myself right now making a lot of American friends.

First there’s Matt, my Calculus II mate. I thought once the class is over, he’ll just forget me. I’ll be nothing more than another stranger who walks randomly in the street of Ann Arbor. However, I found out that whenever he meets me, the word “what’s up” is audible. Delighted, I usually spend a few minutes talking to him, catching up things. Right now, I found out that he is in my Physics class. We usually sit together for the past days and discuss about physics. I had also visited his room which is just across the beautiful West Quad’s courtyard. That’s Rumsey House for those of you who live in Ann Arbor.

Another one of my friends that I’m close with is Jacob. Well, I can’t really say that we are close but frequently, we talk a few things that aren’t related to academic stuffs. I guess Americans are not that stuck up after all, in contrast with the current view in Malaysia. To add thing further, they aren’t stupid either. Of course some of the Malaysians say that the Americans are ignorant of the world. Unfortunately, all of us are ignorant. The Americans are ignorant in certain things, I agree but everybody is an ignorant in their on way.

I like the Americans but still, when I’m playing Civilization 3, I’ll whack the American.

Here is a letter I sent to the GreenPlanet’s discussion group. In it, is one of the reasons that make me love The States. It’s an edited version:

By the way, do you know what I like about The States?

Well, they are not as clean as Singapore but at least the term recycle does exist here, unlike Malaysia. In our country, when it’s time to dump something, they just dump but here, they say, “don’t worry about the excess papers. We’ll recycle it”.

When I first arrived, I was a little bit disoriented with their usage of the term “recycle”. They don’t “dump”. They recycle and they really do what they say.
Back home, there a lot of differentiated bins for people to recycle but in the US, there are almost none. Here, they recycle even without those red-green-blue-yellow colored bins. I guess what makes these two countries different is the awareness towards the dying environment. Most Malaysians are unenlightened about recycling and they need to be educated.

By this, I am not admiring the US culture but their public practice on recycling is real, again, unlike Malaysia. They are so aware of the dying environment; they don’t use the word “dump”, “throw away” etc. They use the word recycle. (Of course, the term is usually limited to recycling papers.)

If we can somehow educate our fellow Malaysians to this level where the public use the word “kitar semula” instead of “buang sahaja”, then we’ll have something to be proud of.

Are you seeing what I am trying to say?

Recycling is already becoming parts of the American’s culture. We Malaysians must achieve the same level too. Of course, Malaysia Boleh, right?

Everything starts with recycling. It’s useless to fight the on major problem like some of us had said. It’s useless to take action on the fumbling Kyoto Pact or the depleting ozone layer or anything else that is big when you are nothing but a normal citizen (unless you a manager of a factory, maybe you can fight these biggie problems on a small scale). But recycling is something that everybody can do.

If it is hard to educate the public, at least educate the children. Scold them when they waste needlessly, warn them when they are not recycling, do anything to encourage them to recycle because only through these children can we engrave recycling into our culture. Our nation achieves nothing until this is done. We can boast of having the best environmental-friendly incinerator in the region but that is nothing until the recycling culture is ours.

To find out more about GreenPlanet, click here.

Here is a newsflash, one of the reasons that make me hate the US’ administration.

Categories
Fiction

[33] Of I’m alone II

…He held a knife high up in the dark.

He needed to be alone. I don’t need anybody else. On the bed, he saw his best friend, his only friend sleeping quietly, looking as innocent as a newborn. How kind of him to me. He has been helping me to live a colorful life. He encourages me to live on when i needed death, he opens my eyes to a kinder world, showing to me that there’s more to life than just cruelty.

The knife went up, higher, trying to search for a greater momentum. The force needed for the blunt knife to force through the skull will be great. I need more momentum. Higher still. Higher.

The knife was at its greatest potential energy. All his muscles were ready for the final blow. All was ready.

What are you doing? He heard another voice. A more kinder voice. I need to be left alone. I don’t need him nor you. We are part of you. If you kill him, you’re killing a part of yourself. No, that’s not true. That was the final words that he ever spoke to his third self.
The bed was red and wet.

I’m free, he thought…

Categories
Fiction

[32] Of I’m alone

…One night, he was alone. The temperature outside was freezing but there was neither snow nor tiny droplets of water falling down from the sky. Cold it was, the blowing wind made the situation worse. A beggar would have begged for a shelter, nobody could bear standing at the mercy of the cold wind. The wind blew stronger, showing no sign of stopping. It just blew and blew. Even the huge trees bent under the power of the strong, heartless wind.

The sky was dark. Of course it is dark, he said to himself. It’s in the middle of the night. It was ten pass two and it was definitely dark. The only illumination was the light from the street lamp posts. All other lights were off as tired people trying to find peace within their sleep. He walked slowly, enjoying the wind, enjoying the bliss of the darkness all alone. He walked slowly, he stopped and thought of something, he looked back and saw his room was bright. Damn, he scolded himself silently. You forgot to switch off the light. I’m sorry. It won’t happen next time. He heard himself apologizing. Ignoring his principles at least for a while, he walked off, forgetting on purpose the light.

For some reason, he loved the strong wind. The wind was blowing against his face. His ears heard the wind whispering. His thick hair was simply exposed to the wind. The wind hurt his eyes but he ignored the pain in exchange for love for the wind. He felt the painful coldness in his face but he ignored the pain for the bliss. He needed the bliss. For a very long time, he had never felt anything like this. Even when he was in love, he had never been so peaceful with himself. He just continued walking but he didn’t realize that he was walking. He eyes were wide open but he saw nothing. The vision that he was seeing didn’t reach his mind as it was. All that he saw were black and white, just enough for him to distinguish between safety and danger. In his mind, there was nothing but nothingness. It was a pure bliss. He was at peace. It was cold but yet he didn’t feel anything uncomfortable.

He could have stayed in bed but he couldn’t. He was lacking the sleep that he needed but somehow, the need to sleep had been suppressed. He can’t sleep. He refused to sleep. He needed all the time he could muster. He was tired but he couldn’t rest. He needed somebody but he virtually an anti-social. He hates almost everybody. He even hates himself. You’re stupid. He heard a voice inside his head. I am stupid. He echoed the words he heard. You could have done everything right but everything that could go wrong went wrong. I’m sorry. I tried. That’s not good enough. I’ll do better next time. It’s too late.

No it’s not. There time for everything, I can prove myself. No you can’t. You’re a failure.

No, I’m not. No I am not. He had an argument with himself. He was talking with himself, as usual. He always talks to himself. Everyday, he had a close companion to talk to. It was his only true friend. It was sincere, never a hypocrite like others. It helped him to go on. It helped him to choose life over death but now it was blaming him for everything.

He was too tired to be angered. He saw a wooden bench and decided to lay down to reduce the burden his vertebra was suffering. Do you see the moon? Yes, what about it? It’s beautiful isn’t. Yes. Look at that star. I’ve forgotten its name. Rigel? No. Vega? What the heck let it go. We don’t need to know its name in order to enjoy its beauty. True, he said. True. He just laid down on the bench, falling half asleep. It was cold but he was not alone. You’ll never leave me, won’t you? No. I won’t. Why do you ask? I’m scared of facing the world all alone. It’s a harsh world for me. Don’t worry; they won’t hurt you as long as I’m with you. He smiled. He knew that those words hold no water. He knew that his friend will be leaving him soon enough. You are my best friend. He smiled. And you’re mine. I’m lying to you. He said quietly, letting his other half heard nothing of it. I’m alone in this world and I will kill you, sooner or later. Sooner or later…

Categories
Personal

[31] Of losing composure

Deleted. Here is the spam that made me changed my mind about commiting *******. Hail the spammers!!!

Here is something that I think I should not have deleted.

I’m an Earth Spirit
Categories
Personal Society

[30] Of I fear death; I cherish life

Nothing in this world lives for eternity. No matter how long life is, when the end comes, the cold darkness will shroud yet another tiny world. For the living, death brings sadness.
History has shown human that death cannot be cheated upon. Yet, human tries from time to time. First, it was the legendary Fountain of Youth. Now, it’s cloning and cryogenic cell’s turn.

Death is painful to the sufferers and to the one that stays close to them. That’s why human sometimes try to cheat death. It’s eminent but they still try without complaining. Human is a stubborn species but yet one must agree that trait is what made human so successful as an intelligent being. Without stubbornness, Newton would have never found Calculus. Without stubbornness, Rome would have never been built because stubbornness is synonym to the word perseverance. That fact makes human afraid of death for death means the end of everything including perseverance. Stubbornness makes human a human.

Human’s fear of death is also the reason why religion exists. Religion acts as a guarantee to human’s continuous existence. The body shall rot but the soul will be preserved to perfection. God promises reincarnation. This one paragraph could well be blasphemy but it’s an argument. Whether it is fragile or not, I shall not answer. It’s for you to sit and think properly for I am writing at 0443 hrs. Strange thoughts come frequently during the cold silence night.

“If you do not fear death, then you love your God.”

That one sentence, written by somebody in Malay, a minor language, catalyst my mind to assault the idea of religion. How can one fear not of death? Death is something terrible one can bear alone. Even in a brave soldier, standing at the frontline, waiting to be charged to, feels a trace of fear. He fears death but his love for his causes makes him to be brave. He shoves aside that fear, forgetting it for the passing moment but his heart will always be at unease at the sight of a coming arrow.

One could argue fear can be confronted with courage. Yes, that’s true. Courage will brings bravery but bravery is born by fear. Courage comes to life because of fear. Fear is what human is. The fear of a spreading war forced the Americans to enter the Second World War. The fear of a “higher being” makes human to embrace Christianity, Islam, and Judaism. Fear introduced the notion of poly- and monotheism to human.

The way I see it, we should not be embarrassed to feel fear because fear is one of the elements of life. I shall fear death for that fear will help me to live a colorful life before it is too late. The fear of irreversible dimension will help me to live life to the fullest.

To those whom do not feel fear, you live in a false utopia. It’s neither hell nor heavan. Your life has only two color; black and white. Perhaps, only white because you do not suffer fear. How dull is your monochromic life. I pity you.

These are sincere words.