[638] Of Jamban Revolution

When I was attending Malaysia Forum at Stanford last May, there was this out worldly project dubbed the Jamban Revolution. Jamban is a crude Malay word for washroom. Capital or little ‘j’, it doesn’t matter but it was about an ideal; worthy, if I might add, of consideration. The revolution aimed to rally the masses to push for more hygienic Malaysian public washrooms. “Three cheers for an admirable cause”. I had yelled inside my head but I had serious doubt whether the project would take off. And indeed, it didn’t. However, I think first step towards the J-Revolution is a dry washroom.

Malaysians are used to wet lavatories and typical Malaysians usually have problem with it. Splashed water here and there, not swept, untaken care of – one could only wonder what one could step on on a bad hair day inside a Malaysian public washroom.

Worse, no amount of campaigns to raise civic consciousness may help improve Malaysian jamban scene. Nope. I’m convinced. Hell, if even the state of our jambans in our Parliament is not spared from the neglect, it will take more than a jamban ministry to take care of our washrooms. No matter how highly maintained a washroom might be, the atmosphere inside it will degrade exponentially. Almost uniquely Malaysians!

Hence, enter the dry regime!

The dry regime, the Jamban Revolution will bring on a new order in Malaysian jambans. A new order where the floor is clean, recycled paper towel hangs on a side waiting to be reap or even electronic dryers powered by green energy to save the trees!

Imagine the would-be outcomes of this glorious revolution, comrades!

Down with wet regime. They are nothing but mere impedance to our march towards a better society. A society which we may sit on a bowel and answer nature’s call without worries. A society which suspicious water patches are things of the past. A society free from fear.

Comrades! For Motherland, we must overthrow the dirty wet regime. Unite friends, brothers! For Motherland, comrades! We must unite! March forward to a greener pasture and shout it out loud brothers!

What do we want? Better jambans!

When do we want it? Now!

What do we want? Better jambans!

When do we want it? Now!

Viva la revolucion!

Alright. I think I’m getting too excited.

p/s – pee ass V was lucky.