Category: Personal

[45] Of Belief-o-matic

Do you not see that Allah sends down water from the cloud so the earth becomes green? Surely Allah is Benignant, Aware.

– The Koran, The Pilgrimage (22.63)

And in the earth there are tracts side by side and gardens of grapes and corn and palm trees having one root and (others) having distinct roots– they are watered with one water, and We make some of them excel others in fruit; most surely there are signs in this for a people who understand.

– The Koran, The Thunder (13.4)

The religions, according to Belief-o-matic, that I am related to. Interesting, Judaism gains two of the top three spots. Maybe that because the the similarity Judaism and Islam share.

1. Reform Judaism (100%)
2. Islam (96%)
3. Orthodox Judaism (96%)
4. Sikhism (92%)
5. Baha’i (83%)
6. Liberal Quaker (79%)
7. Unitarian Universalism (73%)
8. Jainism (65%)
9. Liberal Protestant (61%)
10. Orthodox Quaker (60%)
11. Latter-day Saint (Mormon) (57%)
12. Jehovah’s Witness (52%)
13. Neo-Paganism (52%)
14. Secular Humanism (48%)
15. Conservative Protestant (46%)
16. New Age (44%)
17. Hinduism (43%)
18. New Thought (43%)
19. Mahayana Buddhism (42%)
20. Scientology (40%)
21. Eastern Orthodox (37%)
22. Roman Catholic (37%)
23. Seventh Day Adventist (36%)
24. Atheism and Agnosticism (33%)
25. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (31%)
26. Theravada Buddhism (28%)
27. Taoism (24%)

I took the test for the second time through an Agnostic’s eyes but the result was largely the same with Atheism gained significant rungs.

1. Reform Judaism (100%)
2. Islam (92%)
3. Orthodox Judaism (92%)
4. Unitarian Universalism (91%)
5. Liberal Quaker (87%)
6. Sikhism (83%)
7. Latter-day Saint (Mormon) (78%)
8. Liberal Protestant (78%)
9. Secular Humanism (75%)
10. Baha’i (74%)
11. Jainism (72%)
12. Neo-Paganism (71%)
13. Orthodox Quaker (66%)
14. Conservative Protestant (62%)
15. Atheism and Agnosticism (61%)
16. Jehovah’s Witness (61%)
17. New Age (57%)
18. Hinduism (55%)
19. Mahayana Buddhism (55%)
20. Theravada Buddhism (55%)
21. New Thought (52%)
22. Scientology (50%)
23. Seventh Day Adventist (43%)
24. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (40%)
25. Taoism (40%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (37%)
27. Roman Catholic (37%)

Personal

[43] Of two conversations at the University of Michigan

Post author By Hafiz Noor Shams
Post date Friday, March 15 2002
No Comments on [43] Of two conversations at the University of Michigan

The following is a real life scenario.Prof. Daniel Chan was teaching Calculus 3 with his British accent in Dennisson 260

Prof Chan : A Kookabura flies with a semicircular projection. Find the vector of the kookabura if this point is (0, 1, 1).

Anonymous student : Hmm…

Prof Chan : Here is how you do it. First…

(He was showing the class the method of solving a particular 3D vector problem until…)

Prof Chan : Therefore, the answer is + t. Any questions? Yeah, at the back…

Anonymous student : What’s a kookabura?

Me : Hahahahahahaha…!!!

Prof Chan : You’re supposed to ask me about the vector but well, a kookabura is…

More recent real life conversation

South Quad, Dining Hall 1.

Khateeb : Okay, tomorrow you are going to wake up at 7.

Unmesh : Seven? Are you crazy? Why?

Khateeb : Because you are going to help me to find a place to live for the fall semester. We are going to knock on every door in Ann Arbor.

Me : What? You don’t have to do that. You just have to check the paper for any vacancy. There are advertisements in there.

Joey : Knock, knock, is there a brain in there? No, it’s empty.

Khateeb : Grrrrr…

Me : Joey, you better run.

(Joey looked scared.)

Personal

[42] Of Adam versus Ford

This is a real notice!!! Yeah…right….whatever…alright deVries…I’m on your Physics!!!…Arghh..Calculus??? Freak..Khateeb…Wanna post your poem here?

WANTED
Adam Ariffin
For killing Gaia with cyanide & ozone.
Reward: A better Earth

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gate, the angel tells Ford, “Well, you’ve been such a good guy and your invention, the car, changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven.”

So, Henry Ford thinks about it and says, “I wanna hang with Adam, the first man.” So, the angel points Adam out to Ford.

When Ford gets to Adam, Ford asks, “Hey, aren’t you the inventor of the woman?”

Adam says, “Yes.”

“Well, says Ford, “You have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There’s too much front end protrusion.

2. It chatters at high speeds.

3. The rear end wobbles too much.

4. And the intake is placed too close to the exhaust.”

“Hmmm…”, says Adam, “Hold on.” So Adam goes to the celestial supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the results. The computer prints out a slip of paper and Adam reads it.

He then says to Henry Ford, “It may be that my invention is flawed, but according to the stellar computer, more men are riding my invention than yours.”

Personal This blog