Author: Hafiz Noor Shams

For more about me, please read this.

Categories
Society Sports

[638] Of Jamban Revolution

When I was attending Malaysia Forum at Stanford last May, there was this out worldly project dubbed the Jamban Revolution. Jamban is a crude Malay word for washroom. Capital or little ‘j’, it doesn’t matter but it was about an ideal; worthy, if I might add, of consideration. The revolution aimed to rally the masses to push for more hygienic Malaysian public washrooms. “Three cheers for an admirable cause”. I had yelled inside my head but I had serious doubt whether the project would take off. And indeed, it didn’t. However, I think first step towards the J-Revolution is a dry washroom.

Malaysians are used to wet lavatories and typical Malaysians usually have problem with it. Splashed water here and there, not swept, untaken care of – one could only wonder what one could step on on a bad hair day inside a Malaysian public washroom.

Worse, no amount of campaigns to raise civic consciousness may help improve Malaysian jamban scene. Nope. I’m convinced. Hell, if even the state of our jambans in our Parliament is not spared from the neglect, it will take more than a jamban ministry to take care of our washrooms. No matter how highly maintained a washroom might be, the atmosphere inside it will degrade exponentially. Almost uniquely Malaysians!

Hence, enter the dry regime!

The dry regime, the Jamban Revolution will bring on a new order in Malaysian jambans. A new order where the floor is clean, recycled paper towel hangs on a side waiting to be reap or even electronic dryers powered by green energy to save the trees!

Imagine the would-be outcomes of this glorious revolution, comrades!

Down with wet regime. They are nothing but mere impedance to our march towards a better society. A society which we may sit on a bowel and answer nature’s call without worries. A society which suspicious water patches are things of the past. A society free from fear.

Comrades! For Motherland, we must overthrow the dirty wet regime. Unite friends, brothers! For Motherland, comrades! We must unite! March forward to a greener pasture and shout it out loud brothers!

What do we want? Better jambans!

When do we want it? Now!

What do we want? Better jambans!

When do we want it? Now!

Viva la revolucion!

Alright. I think I’m getting too excited.

p/s – pee ass V was lucky.

Categories
ASEAN Conflict & disaster

[637] Of ASEAN and foreign powers

While I was scouring the internet for the latest development on a possible new bridge to link Malaysia and Singapore together, I came across an Asia Times’ article that touches on India’s ambition in the Andaman Sea. I find the article a tad disturbing and it changes my perspective towards Malaysian and ASEAN’s defense and security. This might be a knee-jerk reaction but it convinces me of the need for Malaysia and ASEAN to strengthen its military forces.

The article highlights Indian motivation of establishing a major naval base near the Andaman Sea, a body of water located at the northern mouth of Strait of Malacca. Among the main reasons for such move are increasing Chinese influence in Myanmar, piracy in Straits of Malacca and trade. Concurrently, these three factors more or less concern ASEAN and Malaysia.

The author of the article states that China is controlling several ports in Myanmar and Chinese influence in the Andaman Sea is extraordinary considering the area is actually part of the Indian Ocean instead of the Pacific. Slowly, it seems that Myanmar is becoming a Chinse forward base. This is even more so when China and Myanmar agree to have better land links between themselves. This grants China access to the Indian Ocean.

In event of a confrontation between People’s Republic of China and Republic of China, the conflict might even affect Malaysia and ASEAN disproportionately badly. This is because if the conflict escalates to a stage that includes more than one large power, trade might be severely affected since China will be able to flex its muscle in both the South China Sea and the Andaman Sea. Both seas are important gateways to ASEAN.

Even if the fear of China controlling both seas is unfounded, piracy and the threat of terrorism by themselves should be enough to convince Malaysia to have a stronger military. Already Malaysia and Indonesia have been criticized for security lax in the Strait of Malacca and this has attracted eyes towards the region. Other than the United States that has been rebuffed by both Malaysia and Indonesia, India too is quietly observing the situation in the strait. The article further states that it seems that the US has given its “tacit approval of India’s assertion of naval control over the Andaman Sea”. All these might be steps taken to implicitly tackle piracy and terrorism.

If piracy and terrorism are indeed the case for the renewed militaristic attention on Southeast Asia, it would be wise for Malaysia and its neighbors to quickly build up their naval prowess. Stronger naval capabilities may bring about greater security and less piracy. More importantly, it would take away a reason for foreign military attention on Southeast Asia.

A Malaysian military buildup might invoke a Southeast Asian arms race. The last time such a thing seriously happened was back in the 1990s when Malaysia added a fleet of jet fighters and frigates under its command. If I remember correctly, Indonesia, Singapore and Thailand themselves found themselves in the sedated fray.

In my opinion, an arms race might be the one thing ASEAN needs right now. An arms race will bring a net benefit to ASEAN members by discouraging any foreign power from exercising excessive influence on ASEAN borders.

Categories
Kitchen sink Liberty

[636] Of if here’s my two cents and it costs a penny for your thought, what happened to another penny?

Taxes I suppose.

Regardless, almost everybody has opinion of their own. It’s more prevalent than IPod in our society. Just log on the internet and it will overwhelm us. Sometimes, I swear I’ll puke if another person gives me a piece of his mind. This and that and that and this all over again – it just doesn’t end. It’s a perpetual blabbering that makes people goes nut. Yet, I and many others can’t seem to have enough of it. I still want to announce the world of I feel and I’m still willing to listen to others’ two cents. After years of trying to listen, I think I’ve reached a stage where I could categorize most opinions into a number of classes based on several dimensions.

In my not so humble opinion, opinion may be described by five dimensions:

Informed-uninformed dimension

An informed opinion is the best kind of opinion in this dimension. A person that expresses an informed opinion is usually familiar with the field he or she is commenting on. This doesn’t have to be the case but usually it is. As such, this kind of opinion comes from those of whom are from tertiary institutions and professional circles or at the very least, those that with knowledge or experience on a particular field.

Below informed view is one when if we see or hear it, we won’t be able to agree or disagree without further information. There’s some truth to it and we might want to believe but to accept it without scrutiny is irrational. It’s simply something that best kept at the back of our mind and revisit it later when the time is right.

At the other end of the spectrum is uninformed view. This kind of opinion is definitely disagreeable at first sight and it’s disagreeable not due to point of views or biases but purely because of facts. In short, it’s bullshit – like global wamring causes worsening earthquake or Bush is an alien from outer space. Pretending experts and worst of all, trolls, belong here. People with uninformed opinion are usually field outsiders though outsiders do offer respectable opinions from time to time.

Intelligibility

Opinion could also be seen from intelligibility. I can think of only two classes – articulateness and incoherence. An articulated view is the one that we’ll get the point even with the most artificial skimming while incoherent opinion is akin to reading or listening to a Martian. Incoherent views are usually ignored by most people and occasionally however, flaming may occur due to misunderstanding or frustration. Intelligibility is also dependent on a person ability of being concise.

Friendliness

Friendliness is highly dependent on point of views. Therefore, an opinion may be seen as friendly to a person but offensive to another.

No blood boils when one reads a friendly view. At least I won’t. This view is not too critical of an idea and there are flowery congratulations, praises and agreeable people abounding almost everywhere. Biases also an implicit characteristic – hey, they say birds of the same feather flock together.

Number two has a neutral stance. It’s could be critical or giving credit where credit is due but the bottomline is, it’s done in good faith. Most opinions of this kind are positive in nature; positive as in descriptive or antonym to normative.

Then there’s hostile view and here’s where most polemicists sit. This, coupled with incoherencies, is a recipe for mudslinging. It’s all about right versus left, Ann Coulter and Al Franken or Malaysian blogosphere own illogical Menj and silly Rajan. This particular class is where all hope of intelligent discussion is already forsaken at the earliest possible point. It’s fun though – it what makes a crowd cheers for a bull’s eye and murmurs when a punch is thrown below the belt.

Agreeability

Like friendliness, agreeability is dependent on point of view. Perhaps, agreeability depends on the previous three variables too.

Freedom

This is probably the most important variable there is when it comes to opinion. It is the one thing that determines if there is anything to hear to or read in the first place.

I once heard a joke about free speech – if here’s my two cents and it costs a penny for your thought, what happened to another penny?

Like I said earlier, taxes.

Categories
Society

[635] Of Micheal Jackson might go back to court

I’m not a person that care for celebrities’ gossips and stuff. I don’t care whether Britney Spears was a virgin when she said she was or whether Lindsay Lohan’s boobies are fake or who the f- is this Siti Nurhaliza’s Datuk K. However, I can’t help it with this one. Too amusing for me to ignore, especially when a professor made a witty remark:

“It’s just one of those ironies of life that he’d be called as a juror,” said Laurie Levenson, a professor at Loyola School of Law who monitored Jackson’s trial.

Never a dull moment.

p/s – Laputan Logic is back! Or, at least, he blogged eight days ago after a very long hiatus.

Categories
Environment Politics & government

[634] Of we need you to be strong Prime Minister

My deepest thought for the Prime Minister. But you cannot and must not succumb to sorrow. Malaysia cannot afford to have a weak leader, especially during a turbulent time when Thailand freely blames Malaysia for its own incompetence and terrorism strikes as close as Bali.

We need you to be strong. If you need us, we’ll be here for you. Just be strong.

p/s – remember the slaughtered tiger? The guy was fined merely RM7,000 along with four months jail time. I’m convinced that Malaysian environmental law is a farce.