Deleted. Here is the spam that made me changed my mind about commiting *******. Hail the spammers!!!
Here is something that I think I should not have deleted.
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[31] Of losing composure
Nothing in this world lives for eternity. No matter how long life is, when the end comes, the cold darkness will shroud yet another tiny world. For the living, death brings sadness.
History has shown human that death cannot be cheated upon. Yet, human tries from time to time. First, it was the legendary Fountain of Youth. Now, it’s cloning and cryogenic cell’s turn.
Death is painful to the sufferers and to the one that stays close to them. That’s why human sometimes try to cheat death. It’s eminent but they still try without complaining. Human is a stubborn species but yet one must agree that trait is what made human so successful as an intelligent being. Without stubbornness, Newton would have never found Calculus. Without stubbornness, Rome would have never been built because stubbornness is synonym to the word perseverance. That fact makes human afraid of death for death means the end of everything including perseverance. Stubbornness makes human a human.
Human’s fear of death is also the reason why religion exists. Religion acts as a guarantee to human’s continuous existence. The body shall rot but the soul will be preserved to perfection. God promises reincarnation. This one paragraph could well be blasphemy but it’s an argument. Whether it is fragile or not, I shall not answer. It’s for you to sit and think properly for I am writing at 0443 hrs. Strange thoughts come frequently during the cold silence night.
“If you do not fear death, then you love your God.”
That one sentence, written by somebody in Malay, a minor language, catalyst my mind to assault the idea of religion. How can one fear not of death? Death is something terrible one can bear alone. Even in a brave soldier, standing at the frontline, waiting to be charged to, feels a trace of fear. He fears death but his love for his causes makes him to be brave. He shoves aside that fear, forgetting it for the passing moment but his heart will always be at unease at the sight of a coming arrow.
One could argue fear can be confronted with courage. Yes, that’s true. Courage will brings bravery but bravery is born by fear. Courage comes to life because of fear. Fear is what human is. The fear of a spreading war forced the Americans to enter the Second World War. The fear of a “higher being” makes human to embrace Christianity, Islam, and Judaism. Fear introduced the notion of poly- and monotheism to human.
The way I see it, we should not be embarrassed to feel fear because fear is one of the elements of life. I shall fear death for that fear will help me to live a colorful life before it is too late. The fear of irreversible dimension will help me to live life to the fullest.
To those whom do not feel fear, you live in a false utopia. It’s neither hell nor heavan. Your life has only two color; black and white. Perhaps, only white because you do not suffer fear. How dull is your monochromic life. I pity you.
These are sincere words.
While trying to write a decent source code for my new website, a realization came to me. I could track every people, every netters that visited my site with little problems. That realization makes me to wonder, if it is so easy for me to track people down in the web, then it must be easier for not-just-everyday-net-user to track me down. This notion scares me far more than death.
I have always value my privacy. That’s way I’ve chosen to live alone instead of living in a triple room.
Privacy is important to me. That’s why most people don’t really know me. Sure they know me but their knowledge on me is just skin deep. I dare say even my parents don’t really know me. They think I am their innocent, good-hearted son. Those words make me laugh my heart out.
My religion is privacy. That’s why I wear masks. I have a scholar’s mask at home. I wear a saint’s mask in the public. I tape a joker’s mask in front of my friends. Sometimes, I borrow a devil mask. Sometimes, I wonder whether I have ever taken off my masks.
Privacy. That’s why, if you realize, I’ve stopped writing my personal feelings here.
Knowing I seldom show my face to the world, I found it disturbing that all of my preferences, my style of surfing , my ip addresses are easily obtained by anybody provided that ‘anybody’ knows how to manipulate the resources in the net.
By writing this, there is no way I’m saying I was ignorant. I know all of these violations of privacy do occur but I had never known to what extend. Now that I know, starting from this moment on, I’ll practice a very safe surfing style. Disable scripts, never accept cookies. And Cookie Monster, you better stop eating cookies or else, somebody will be stalking you virtually…
P/S – Am I writing too much? I earned a place in Blogger’s 10 Most Recently Updated Site too often a time. I’m a blogger… Ouch, that hurts.
After such a long time of waiting and procrastination, I’ve finally, seriously started in building a homepage of my own. The design of the site has already been determined by me. Basically, the whole site will be based on the utilization of roughly 3 colors; the noon sky’s blue, white and black. Those three colors are going to be my official color. Some of the prototypes have already been posted on Geocities. So far, no problems that I can’t handle off.
The latest event is the reintroduction of SETI into my life. And yes, for those of you who were born in the eighties and believe in E.T., SETI is the acronym for The Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. It’s also famous for its relation with the Aceribo’s Dish in Puerto Rico. Aceribo Dish is the largest single radio telescope in the world. It could be the most well known telescope of all.
Right now, with Athlon 1.7, a processor that has a very respectable computation power for home users, I’m helping the people in UC Berkeley in their search for aliens. It’s pretty interesting. It makes my computer even cooler. When the computer is being idle, it runs a screensaver that acts as a radio transmission analyzer.
SETI was first established by NASA in their quest to answer the question “Are we alone?” The program scanned the whole wide skies for unusual radio transmissions. The idea is to send out radio signals and hope that somebody out there will return our “call”. For years now, the program has been scanning the sky without much success. A few of the researchers themselves believe the odd of finding E.T. will be as large as what 3-CPO’s calculation of getting out of an asteroid field alive.
In the beginning, there were a lot of hypes and excitement. However, the excitement lost its momentum quickly and lastly, the American’s Congress, the institution that finances NASA told NASA to drop SETI out of its program. The reason that was given – SETI program is highly expensive. Although there were a lot of objection against the Congress’ directive, NASA finally bowed to the pressure and scraped SETI.
Nevertheless, a few scientists that were involved in that program continue to run SETI on their own in hope that their energy will not be wasted. One example of these group is the UC Berkeley’s version of SETI.
Is there any intelligence life form out there? If there is, does that mean the foundation of the world’s main religions will crumble under its own weight?
Most religions say that human is the best creation ever. They’re the only intelligence species in this realm. It would be interesting to see people’s reaction if we will ever meet up with another intelligence life form. We can speculate but the truth is out there. (Does that phrase sounds familiar?)
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[27] Of Master of Orion 3
Guess what?
Master of Orion 3 is coming out. I can’t believe this. First, it was Civilization 3, now, one of the leaders in turned-based strategy will be having its sequel in less than a season. Splendid. My life will further be rotted endlessly.Even right now, I am playing Civilization 3 again.
On other note, the completed structure for my external page has been posted on Geocities. Still, more need to be posted and I suspect the site will be completed in a few month, hopefully before spring 2002.