I’m so ****ed up.
Latest news, Hockey World Cup’s Champions’ Cup. Malaysia 2 – 1 India.
3 more points and we’ll be in the World Cup!!!
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[7] Of pseudo-insomnia
God… Have you all ever played the Civilization game series?
For you whom haven’t visited Earth yet, Civilization series is a game, one of the most famous turn-based strategy games. It’s was first developed by Sid Meier at Microprose. That particular game revolutionized the way gamers play games. It revolutionized the entire gaming world. Maybe I’m exaggerating. Well, it did set a new standard for the turn-based strategy game. I had played both Civ. I and Civ.II. I played those two games like it was my life. I can remember which technology needs to be found first, I know what kind of a system suits a government at a particular time and I memorized each and every unit rating point.
The year of 2001 mark another great year for Civ. game series. It is the year when Civilization 3 is released. And after a few weeks it was released, I finally have gotten my dirty hand on that game. I played it non-stop from 0400 till 0730. HAHAHAHAHAHA And my final is next week. I’m done for. Sigh…
Oooo… Ghost in the Shell’s main theme, Reincarnation is on. Adam, if you are reading this, I love that anime. Thanks for letting me watch that anime on your laptop.
I have to sleep. My biological clock is running amok. When will all this is going to end? Insomnia…pseudo-insomnia?
Starship Troopers, sucks…
Ten more days to The Lord of the Rings. Eleven more days to freedom. Twenty two more days to 2002. Over five more months to Star Wars Episode II : Attack of the Clones.
I must admit, the name sounds kind of absurd. At least Amidala looks as beautiful as ever…still, that Korean girl in my Econ101 lecture is so beautiful. She is magnificent. Her hair…her face, she so cute…I know her name…heheheh…Leena. Maybe I should take Econ 102 just to see her again for next semester. Naughty me.
One ring to rule them all…
A time of love, a time of hate, a time of war, a time of peace, a time you may embrace, a time to rephrase from embracing…
To everything turn, turn, turn, there is a season turn, turn, turn…
There is time for every purpose under heaven…
I called Tody last night just to find out what are we going to do exactly in the snow in Minnesota. He said that we are going to do some snow boarding in Indiana and spend our new in Chicago. Nice. New year eve in Chicago.
Suddenly, I am feeling so nostalgic. I remembering everything that I have felt back in Shah Alam. A lot had happened back there, more than I could cope up with. Everything was fast for me. I’m not talking academically. It’s just life. Life. Hmm..I can still remember that Ajim kept saying life sucks in class. Hmm…forget it. It’s the past. All that is important to me right now is the present and the future. Right?
Hey, the Russian Red Army Choir is nice. It is the current Russian Federation’s national anthem. Thanks to Vladimir Putin.
Alarm clock. Don’t you hate it?
Yeah, c’mon Jebai!!! Five more hours and you’ll be the guy that has stay awaken for 24 hours. C’mon, you can do it.
I hate the world but I love the world.
Exams… I should go and sit in front of my lovely wooden desk instead of clicking and typing in front of this crude machine.
Exams… I should think of heat anthropy of water instead of trying to build in new external page for my newly founded website. This site is not even worthy to be called of a website.
Exams… I should be revising my mathematics instead of revising my html.
Damn… I missed my maghrib.
Damn… There are no music classes for the winter term.
Damn… It’s predicted that snow will be falling tomorrow. Hmm..at least I’ll have my vengeance on Azwan once the annual West Quad-South Quad Snow War is declared.
Lets blog a little.
Freedom. Our most cherish right. I love freedom, the thing that I am currently enjoying at this real moment. The United Nations’ Declaration of Human Rights clearly states the every human has a right to freedom. Freedom simply means the ability of one to do anything that he or she likes regardless what others think. Freedom…
Although I do believe in freedom, I dare to bet my head that total freedom is a fantasy. I do believe in freedom but I certainly don’t trust total freedom and I am grateful that total freedom is a non-existence in this world. Back in my country, some particular populace have voiced out the lack of freedom of speech and press.
Well, I do agree that there is a lack of that kind of freedom in my country but it is for the country own good. It’s not that it is my dream for George Orwell’s 1984 to become a reality. It’s just that the local populace, while demanding freedom, are not responsible in exercising it. They demand every right that they can think of but after successfully seizing it, they begin to misuse it.
That’s why, in my opinion, the local government suppress the freedom of expression and the freedom of the press to a certain degree. I certainly don’t want the people of my beloved country to kick each other’s ass just because some stupid jerk made an interesting statement in the press. I certainly don’t want some bastards to make the traffic in my hometown to come to a stand still just because they aren’t happy with some court ruling. Imagine, getting stuck in a car for a couple of hours just because some dodos are shouting out loud in the middle of the street. And when somebody says it is not right to do that, they say that it is their rights. Yeah! stripping in the middle of a street is also a freedom of expression but noooo…they say that stripping in the middle of the public is against the society’s norms… talks about hypocrisy.
Tody has invited me to pay the Gophers a visit for this coming winter holiday. I have decided to agree with his plan but I’m still in doubt. I want to get out from Ann Arbor because I hate snow. Getting out of Ann Arbor for a while will be nice but going farther north? That’s crazy.
One of my American friends, was excited when he heard I said that I’ll be going somewhere for the holidays. Guess what the word he used when he heard that I would be paying Minneapolis a visit?
“Are you crazy?”
Well, I guess I am. I myself don’t know why I’ll be heading north for winter. I should be heading for SOUTH, not NORTH. Maybe I should take a hammer and knock some senses into my eccentric brain. I should be watching the Wolverines beating up someone else’s ass in Miami instead of watching the Gophers play some snowball fight in Minneapolis…
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[5] Of problem, freedom and privacy
Hmm…blogger.com seems to be having a problem. I edited my source code but for days now, nothing happened to “I am above grammar…”
There seems to be a problem with the weather too. The sun shines from 0800 to 1700, the temperature is well above 6 Celsius, no rain during the day, no snow falling… which is nice for me. The only problem is that it’s already December and it is Michigan!!! Michigan is supposed to have one of the worst weather in the whole mid-west. The snow is supposed to be zillion of inches thick. But, no…the sun shines from 0800 to 1700, the temperature is well above 6 Celsius, no rain during the day, no snow falling… which is nice for me. Maybe it’s because of global warming. If this is one of the effects of global warming, let the polluting begins!!! But of course, being a self-proclaimed environmentalist, I shall fight the polluters till the day that I die…
Whatever.
I just realize that my final will be coming within two weeks time. Luckily for me, I have started to do some revising. Hope I’ll get a good GPA for my first semester. I can’t stay here for too long. My chemistry book is waiting for me. Nonetheless, I think I write a little bit more.
Know what? Just now, I came down to the West Quad’s ground floor to buy some drinks. As I was walking slowly at my leisure, I saw a couple, lying on the couch near the dining hall, doing god knows what. I think I know what they were doing. I really don’t want to interrupt their happy time but what can I do, the vending machine is situated right beside that particular couch. I, having no choice, walked straight to vending machine, pretending not to notice them.
Of course, as a consumer, I exercised my right to choose. I lingered there for a while to make my selection. I was contemplating on whether I should buy a coke or an orange juice. You could say that it took me about 5 minutes just to decide. And those 5 minutes really interfered with their activity. They left before I made my choice. Pity, I would like to stay there until they are done but heck, they need privacy for their program. Sigh…
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[4] Of reflecting my life
It seems that I just can’t stop writing. I wonder why life is so meaningless, for me, at least at 0419.
I looked back through time. I started to count how many friends that I have made so far…currently, I guess the number far surpassed 500. It may well reach 1000. I wonder, what fractions of that number does have a feeling of hatred against me. I wonder, what I have done, trying to figure out what are needed to be done. I’m clueless and confused.
Why it is always hard for people to understand me? Why it is always me who has to understand others?
In my life, I have always tried to divert any conflict from myself. I react only when being struck directly. If you know me and observed me like the Watcher observed the Marvel Comics’ Universe, you’ll find that I am similar to the bee. If you do not want to be attacked, don’t disturb the hive. For instance, when a guy from the top of OPP’s administration accused us of making slanderous statement on OPP’s reputation, I fought back. And if you realized, right now I’m having a cold war with two Illini; it happened because of the “Muck Fischigan” phrase. There a lot of thing that I can give as examples but it would take my whole lifetime to write it down. But that will make me no different than Scrooge McDuck. It will make me no different than a sore loser.
It will make me no different from the lowlife that attacked me.
As I reflected back in my life, I realized, that I lived my life the way I was dictated. By my parents, by friends, by the schools, by the media, by the government, by the Law of Physics and by God. From now on, I am going to decide my own destiny. I’ll write up my own philosophy. Plato, Socrates, Tun Sri Lanang, Napolean, Peter, Einstein, Sun Tsu, Bush, Asoka, Vajiravuht, Mahathir, Mao, watch out. I’ll make you to turn over in your grave, tomorrow.
Why am I writing this?
I don’t know. “There’s no reason in life…”. I can’t say that I can agree with that. There’s reason. There are reasons. It’s just that it is too hard to find it. The reason is so deep, it’s beyond the event horizon’s boundary. It’s in the void. But when you think you know what the reasons are, another realization will creep up into your empty mind. Everything comes head to head. Suddenly, the whole reasons don’t confer with each other. If you say I am gibberishing… Ask yourself this question, is there God? If there is, how do you know?
Whatever the answer might be, I personally believe in God. But sometimes, where you read too much, anything can happen. Are you familiar with the Theory of Everything? A friend of mine who is in M.I.T. gave an equation, N = NP. Just pray that N does not equal to NP. If it does, then, Islam, Christianity, Judaism… will become obsolete.
One reason of life…is it love?
Love is so beautiful. So beautiful that you’ll feel as if you’ve set your feet in heaven’s uppermost level. So beautiful as if there is nothing more important than love. Yet, love can be painful. So painful that you feel like your heart is being crush by a morningstar slowly. I cried once, in the dark. While I was crying, I thought amazingly a lot. It’s like every thought that can be thought by a human passed through my consciousness within a short frame of eternity. A computer would crash but for a human – insanity. From love, anger will emerge. A burning fire, hotter than the white dwarf’s, worse than hell, runs awild in one’s mind. Maybe what Yoda said in Star Wars is the truth. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hatred, hatred leads to the dark side…
God, thy love is endless. Love thy humble servant. Please.