Categories
ASEAN Humor

[570] Of Malaysian imperialism… err… federalism: Sumatra

Let’s be frank. Indonesian Sumatra is a pain in the ass. Anything that happens in Sumatra affects Malaysia. Any Indonesian action, or rather lack of, which concerns Sumatra, produces externality on Malaysia. Two clear examples are illegal land clearing via open burning and piracy in the Malacca Straits.

Granted, Indonesia, Malaysia and Singapore are responsible for the security in Malacca Straits. Yet, with vast undeveloped and swampy area in eastern Sumatra, Indonesia will need to do a lot more than what Malaysia and Singapore have been doing all along. Unfortunately for us all, Indonesia doesn’t have that kind of resources to start with. Subsequently, Indonesia’s inability to act within its own domain is producing negative externalities on its neighbors.

Malaysia, along with Brunei and Singapore are probably the most stable nations in Southeast Asia. Indonesia’s relative inability to act however is a threat to the three stable states. One way to stabilize the region is to internalize all Indonesian Sumatra’s problems, including their environmental and security mess.

Yes, in other words, one mean to solve all these problems is by making it exclusively our problems. Malaysia will need to encourage and convince all Sumatran states, perhaps including Aceh, into joining the Malaysian Federation. Once that happens, Malaysia will be able to make sure haze and even piracy along the busiest waterway in the world are things of the past. Apart from internalizing the environmental and piracy threat, imagine the wealth that will be made available to the Federation. More crude oil for us all, timbers, fishes, all the minerals. It will be as if Malaysia has just stumbled upon El Dorado.

Of course, the main issue remains the 250,000-strong Tentera Nasional Indonesia along with its pool of almost 60 million people according to CIA’s The World Factbook. In event of war, Malaysia’s only hope is for Indonesian fragile economy to collapse along with its cranking warships. If war ever broke up, an appropriate comparison would be the Iran-Iraq War where Iran had vast military reserve but with aging equipment while Iraq’s small but well-equipped force. The war was a stalemate but hey, Indonesia declared war on Malaysia back in the 1960s but we along with our allies kicked Jakarta and the commies’ ass. So, we might actually have a chance against Indonesia.

And hey! We know how hawkish Indonesia could be. Let’s see if they have the muscle to match their “ganyang Malaysia” spirit. After all, it was our frigate that rammed into an Indonesia’s warship in the name of Malaysian sovereignty over a piece of land under the Sunda Sea and Indonesia couldn’t do anything but accussed Malaysia of bullying them. And I doubt Indonesia has even repaired that warship.

But then, let’s give Indonesia’s retaliation a blind eye, assume that Indonesia’s economy will collapse, there will be no backlash from the international community and we all have nine lives. With so many assumptions, you’ve probably realized that I’m an economics graduate. Regardless, assuming Brunei accepts a re-invitation to join Malaysia as the new 14th state:

The new Malaysian Federation will look something like:

And we’ll probably need a new flag too. Our current flag would have too few lines. Unless, Sumatra is decreed as the fourth Federal Territory! Yeah, that’s more like it. We would be able to keep our pseudo-American flag! w00t!

O say does that Jalung Gemilang yet wave…
O’er land of meritokrasi, and the home of boleh.

Heh. Selangor should be particularly happy – the federal government would have little reason to appeal to Selangor for more land.

Or, instead of invading them, maybe Indonesia should just sign the ASEAN Agreement on Transboundary Haze Pollution.

Next entry on Malaysian federalism: Pattani.

p/s – I’ve just read Utusan Malaysia and someone finally mentioned about the haze agreement. But, heh, there are seven countries that have ratified the treaty, not six. Somebody needs to check his fact…

Categories
ASEAN Environment Photography

[569] Of attention Singaporeans, it’s haze!

According to Jakarta Post:

SINGAPORE (DPA): A sudden and unexpected shift in wind direction could bring the choking haze shrouding Malaysia to Singapore, the National Environmental Agency (NEA) warned on Thursday.

Heh, read this too:

Or, we, about 25 million Malaysians plus a couple millions of Singaporeans could together take a deep breath and blow the haze towards Jakarta. Let’s see if they like their own shit. Or the Malaysian government could build fat ass fans that could redirect the haze towards Jakarta. Or at least until all the haze reaches Singapore… err, I mean Indonesia.

God, this haze thing is driving me nut.

All your base are belong to us. It’s a counter-conspiracy by the Malaysian authority! They built a monster fan somewhere and blew the haze towards Singapore! Muahahaha!

While there is going to be a protest in front of the Indonesian embassy tomorrow, I agree with n305er. There is a possibility that Malaysian companies are the culprits over there in Sumatra.

While the Malaysian authority has indeed no right to enforce Malaysian laws upon Indonesian territory, Malaysians could apply pressure to various Malaysian plantation companies operating in Sumatra, like Guthrie for instance. So,

Let’s target Indonesia and Guthrie.p/s – Comcast has nothing to do with this. I’m just recycling their envelope.

Categories
Activism ASEAN Environment Photography Sports

[568] Of in support of Haze Haters in KL

Since my teddy bear is still in Michigan, somewhere, I think, he can’t be my spokesperson anymore like he used too during the US 2004 presidential election. I terribly miss him but great news folks! My cat has agreed to be my new spokesperson!

Here is what she has to say about the :

That is dedicated to all Indonesians. I know that most of you don’t have the internet but hell, I know you President does. For Haze Haters in KL (via).And that was a piece of envelope sent by Azwan. So, an unsincere heartfelt thank to Azwan for sponsoring the paper and hence, allowing me to recycle. =p

So people, apart from carpool, telling your reps about ASEAN Agreement on Transboundary Haze Pollution and whining while cursing Indonesia, send pictures to Haze Haters in KL at laychkoh[at]gmail[dot]com or barrieo[at]gmail[dot]com right now. Pronto.

p/s – Brøndby managed to tie Ajax down. The result for the Champions League qualification is 2 – 2. Ajax should have won if it wasn’t for Escude own goal in the 90th minute. And Babel’s goal was crazy, superb and lucky all at the same time. Watch all goals at www.ajaxfan.de.

Next meeting will be in Amsterdam on August 24.

pp/s – protest in front of the Indonesian embassy in Kuala Lumpur on Friday at 1100 local time (via). Anybody going? A good chance to shoot some photos (and probably get arrested). I’ve never got arrested by Malaysian police but was once arrested for a short while by Ann Arbor police for dissent (snowballing the police). If somehow I get arrested, then I would be able to compare which is better – getting arrested by Malaysian or Ann Arbor’s. =p

Categories
ASEAN Environment

[567] Of Malaysia offers Indonesia aid and what Malaysians should do

Amid this noxious state, Malaysia has finally offered aid to Indonesia. According to Reuters:

KUALA LUMPUR, Aug 10 (Reuters) – Malaysia offered on Wednesday to help neighbour Indonesia extinguish forest fires that have smothered Kuala Lumpur in a thick pall of smoke for a week, aggravating traffic and health conditions.

It’s about time and Indonesia better accept it.

In any case, there was a short rain just now here in Kuala Lumpur. Unfortunately, the rain did little to relieve the worsening condition. The has been relentless.

And while the government finally seems to be crawling in the right direction, we as Malaysians should help out. Instead of moaning how bad the situation really is, start out by not driving and take up public transportation instead. Or at least carpool. If you are whinning but still drive an SUV even to get to the nearest convenience store, just stfu because you have just forfeited your right to bitch.

Another thing we could do is to inform our reps of ASEAN Agreement on Transboundary Haze Pollution and how Indonesia has yet to ratify it.

Categories
Activism ASEAN Environment Photography

[566] Of Malaysian Bloggers against haze

Being back in Malaysia is beginning to be a very horrible experience and it’s all due to the . The haze has been worsening and it’s expected to last well into October. On top of that, with the current dry season, there might be water rationing in approximately two weeks if rain doesn’t pour down. Isn’t that sweet?

Haze is the buzz word in the Malaysian blogosphere currently. Everywhere you go, it’s there. It’s kind of expected since bloggers are kind of zeitgeists – bloggers are humans and they tend to talk about everything that is current. So I figure, hell, let’s take a tour of haze loving people by sweeping through the Project Petaling Street.

First stop, jon choo’s weblog with entry OMG Haze!!! This blog criticizes others for blaming Indonesia for the haze. He states that in one of the last, what’s becoming annual, haze, Malaysian companies were involved in open burning in Indonesia. For that reason, Malaysian should not blame Indonesia but instead, look into the mirror.

I however disagree with the blog’s punch line. While I do disagree with placing the blame entirely on Indonesia’s shoulder, Indonesia does share an elephant size of the blame. Reason is that Indonesia has been reluctant and unable to enforce no open burning rule within its territories. And even if Malaysian plantation companies are the culprits, enforcement falls on Indonesia’s hand, not Malaysia’s. In fact, I don’t mind if the Indonesian government want to sue those companies. Heck, if Indonesia could sue Newmont – which is one of the largest extraction conglomerates in the world for various environment damages – I’m sure Indonesia could do that same to any company that is related to the cause of the haze.

On the Malaysian side, at least there are enforcements against open burning. In fact, Malaysia doesn’t impose death penalty on illegal clearing while Indonesia does and yet enforcement makes the difference. If I wouldn’t know any better, the word enforcement might mean the word joke in Bahasa Indonesia.

Second on the inspection is Shagadelica. This blog laments on how the government does not plan to make the Air Pollution Index public. I share the same sentiment. The government should just release the readings just like what has been done with AP list.

And then, there’s A Spicy Life which talks about health tips. A commendable effort but I’m afraid we are already dead.

Even minishorts talks about haze! Do you realize what does this mean? It’s like Bush commenting on Michigan affirmative action admission policy! But then, a couple sentences later, I realized that she doesn’t actually talk about haze per se. So, it’s more like Menj trying to talk about religious freedom but instead ended talking about nonsense and then calling others morons.

However, I’m being unfair since I haven’t read the whole thing and I don’t plan to read that entry. Maybe even the minishorts – Menj comparison isn’t suitable. After all, minishorts is much more lovable than Menj.

After minishorts, here comes the most original idea by HodgePodge I Am. The blog hints that this might be an Indonesian conspiracy to screw Malaysia! BJ Thoughts shares the same idea of conspiracy though this blog tries to explain the idea more thoroughly.

Nilesh Babu thanks Indonesia for this uninspiring gift and notes that Cyberjaya and Wangsa Maju are practically being eaten by smog.

mental jog on the other hand talks about a hazy article by The Sun.

And a picture worth a thousand word. osaya 2nite has a picture to describe how bad the haze is. Observe the distance between the camera and the object of interest. dDoinkster Speaks offers another picture while Rajan has kind words for the Indonesian authority.

And finally, another picture by xes.

With the roundup done, do you know what we should do right now?

We should all organize a “Malaysian Bloggers against haze” and write a letter to our rep or even phone them. In that letter or phone call, tell the rep about ASEAN Agreement on Transboundary Haze Pollution and urge him or her to urge the Parliament to urge Indonesia to have a goddamn urgency to ratify this urgent environmental treaty urgently, or urgently, else. Tell them, that we don’t f care about the AP right now, that we don’t f care about security on Malacca Straits at the moment, that we don’t f care about Myanmar currently, that we don’t f care for a lot of other things but we do f care about choking ourselves to our f death.

If you don’t know who represents you, the Malaysian Parliament has a complete list though they don’t seem to offer us the reps’ email address.

So, what are you waiting for? Get your urgent ass off your urgent chair and do something urgent, urgently.

p/s – oh yeah, happy belated ASEAN day, chickens.

pp/s – Roadkill, what seems to be a Singaporean, offers reading on pollution index by Singapore’s National Environment Agency. If we couldn’t rely on our own goverment to provide pollution reading, maybe should rely on Singapore’s and become Singaporeans themselves!

ppp/s – photo from Keramat, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

The Petronas Twin Towers, on an average day, could be seen in between the condominium and the trees.

That apartment building I reckon is about 200 meters away.p4/s – the Malaysia Department of Environment has finally made the Air Pollution Index public. It has been kept secret before this and there were growing discontent towards the government policy.