Category: Society

When I was attending Malaysia Forum at Stanford last May, there was this out worldly project dubbed the Jamban Revolution. Jamban is a crude Malay word for washroom. Capital or little ‘j’, it doesn’t matter but it was about an ideal; worthy, if I might add, of consideration. The revolution aimed to rally the masses to push for more hygienic Malaysian public washrooms. “Three cheers for an admirable cause”. I had yelled inside my head but I had serious doubt whether the project would take off. And indeed, it didn’t. However, I think first step towards the J-Revolution is a dry washroom.

Malaysians are used to wet lavatories and typical Malaysians usually have problem with it. Splashed water here and there, not swept, untaken care of – one could only wonder what one could step on on a bad hair day inside a Malaysian public washroom.

Worse, no amount of campaigns to raise civic consciousness may help improve Malaysian jamban scene. Nope. I’m convinced. Hell, if even the state of our jambans in our Parliament is not spared from the neglect, it will take more than a jamban ministry to take care of our washrooms. No matter how highly maintained a washroom might be, the atmosphere inside it will degrade exponentially. Almost uniquely Malaysians!

Hence, enter the dry regime!

The dry regime, the Jamban Revolution will bring on a new order in Malaysian jambans. A new order where the floor is clean, recycled paper towel hangs on a side waiting to be reap or even electronic dryers powered by green energy to save the trees!

Imagine the would-be outcomes of this glorious revolution, comrades!

Down with wet regime. They are nothing but mere impedance to our march towards a better society. A society which we may sit on a bowel and answer nature’s call without worries. A society which suspicious water patches are things of the past. A society free from fear.

Comrades! For Motherland, we must overthrow the dirty wet regime. Unite friends, brothers! For Motherland, comrades! We must unite! March forward to a greener pasture and shout it out loud brothers!

What do we want? Better jambans!

When do we want it? Now!

What do we want? Better jambans!

When do we want it? Now!

Viva la revolucion!

Alright. I think I’m getting too excited.

p/s – pee ass V was lucky.

A couple of days ago, I read a blog entry with huge bolded letters slapped on top of it. The entry talked about the current Anglicization process of the Malay language. Like the person that blogged about it first, I despise this trend.

Beforehand, I must say I am no purist. Despite my tongue is stamped with the word Malay all over it, my grasp of my mother tongue is almost pathetic. My Malay vocabulary is kind of limited and I’m more comfortable writing in English to Malay though I frequently confuse my tense forms. Given my situation, I do understand why when certain people speak in Malay, they tend to talk in both Malay and English at the same time.

However, this should not be used by the press as an excuse.

I cringe whenever I see any word that sounds English but is written instead in Malay in form that adheres to English pronunciation, particularly whenever mainstream Malay media uses it. Like previu or bajet for instance. The Malay word for preview beats me but bajet, can’t the media just use the good old peruntukan or belanjawan? And just yesterday in Utusan Malaysia, an article talked about polygamy and guess which word the author of the article chose? Polemik.

And then there are akauntabiliti, integriti, transparensi, profil, kontroversi, emosi, posisi. Whatever happened to the words ketanggungjawaban, kebolehpercayaan, ketelusan, rumusan (help me on this), kegamatan (whoa, I totally need a Malay dictionary), perasaan, kedudukan?

Adding more to the list: cif (cheif), propisi (proportion), kondisi (condition), ambisi (ambition).

And yeah, one more word, OMFG – infotainment. WTF?

I haven’t been using Malay extensively for the past five or six years and I might be off the road whenever Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka added more words to Malay vocabulary but if this is the trend, let’s all just use English instead. Save the entire effort of translating – transposing is more like it – and let’s all write in English instead. There is no need to spend resources on Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka anymore.

In France I heard, they have language vigilantes to protect the French language. They arm themselves with everything they’ve got in a crusade against English encroachment on French. Dewan Bahasa should emulate the French vigilantes, not the French gut. (Thousand apologies to all Frenchies and any Francophile. I can’t help it)

I’m telling Dewan Bahasa to be a purist. They should be a purist. It is their job to defend the Malay language. Who else should defend the Malay language if not Dewan Bahasa? Samy Vellu?

Dewan Bahasa is slacking so bad that a person that brought this up in that blog that I mentioned earlier is a Malaysian Chinese, not a Malaysian Malay. How sad is that?

p/s – did I mention that Ajax won against PSV?