Categories
Economics Humor

[716] Of 2006 World Economic Forum main discussion

With the World Economic Forum going on , let’s all be honest to ourselves and call a spade a spade. In reality, the world economy works like this:

Americans do the research and create something new.

Australians praise American ingenuity.

Southeast Asians accuse Australians of sucking up and then look at Japan for help.

Japanese innovate and make something better.

Germans introduce an efficient plan to produce it.

Chinese make it at almost no cost.

Arabs supply the fuel and some verbal abuses.

Israelis complain about the abuses.

French and Brits talk about it, end up arguing with each other and then do nothing.

Europeans undertake extended holidays even when they’re supposed to work.

Everybody else goes to work and then discovers that they need to call customer service.

Indians fill all call centers and take care of customer service.

Latin Americans refuse to believe what’s going on and party instead.

Africans don’t know what’s going on and get fucked.

At the World Economic Forum, the people there are trying to find out how the Africans are getting fucked.

Categories
Humor Photography Sports

[714] Of old facade in Kuala Lumpur

I was supposed to have lunch with two friends of mine today but the plan didn’t fly at the very last minute. In place of newly created time vacuum, I decided to do the next best thing. Photos! If Boris is photographing Utrecht, then I’m doing Kuala Lumpur .

Mohd Hafiz Noor Shams. Some rights reserved

This facade belongs to an old building by the Klang river; behind the Federal High Court, across the river. A local told me that it was erected in the 1950s. When I first saw the facade, I knew immediately that I was going to fall in love with it. I think this is the best shot so far this year.

The photo is cropped version. The original isn’t rotated on its origin – the camera’s base is aligned properly, parallel to the ground. Yet, the len’s plane wasn’t parallel to the facade’s. So, it created some imbalances and I don’t really like it. I tried my best to repair the picture with my limited knowledge but it was too hard. So, I thought, hah, rotate it and problem solved! I also contrasted it to get the colors. The original is here:

Mohd Hafiz Noor Shams. Some rights reserved

It seems that three different companies occupy the building. How do I know? Well, the whole building itself seems to be in three different states – good, bad and kinda okay but could be better. See it yourself.

Mohd Hafiz Noor Shams. Some rights reserved

The three of them, if there are three of them, should work together to restore the building. The building should be protected and made a national treasure or sort. Or at least some fund should be establised to maintain the building. This is even more imperative given that the building stands less then 200 m away from Dataran Merdeka, one of Kuala Lumpur’s main gathering places.

The back view is most disheartening.

Mohd Hafiz Noor Shams. Some rights reserved

One thing I hate about Kuala Lumpur is its treatment of the river. If I were one of the earliest planners of Kuala Lumpur, I would have made it compulsory for buildings to face the river. The Gombak and the Klang rivers deserve more respect than they are receiving at the moment. So much aesthetical potential squandered just by disrespecting the rivers!

Lastly, this is another side view of the facade.

Mohd Hafiz Noor Shams. Some rights reserved

That tall building to your right, if you’re unfamiliar with the city, is Maybank Tower. It used to be Malaysia’s tallest building, or second, before Kuala Lumpur Tower dwarfed everything in Malaysia. I’m not sure if Komtar in Penang is taller than Maybank.

p/s – Malaysia lost to France in a hockey friendly? Hell… Since when France is a hockey nation? This is preposterous!

pp/s – All-England Final – Malaysia versus Denmark. Second set now and looks like a fierce competition. Go Malaysia!

p3/s – I know this is old but I’m beginning to get jealous of gay man. If being gay allows a person to grope a girl’s breast and then gets away with it, I want to be gay!

Categories
Humor Sports

[708] Of Klaas-Jan Huntelaar

Ajax’s first league game for 2006 is currently on. It’s Ajax versus NEC and it should be an easy fight unless something bad happens. Despite facing a weak opponent, this game is important because this is Klaas-Jan Huntelaar’s first game for Ajax. Huntelaar is currently the Eredivisie’s top scoer. This game will see how Huntelaar fit in Ajax’s system.

Ajax, despite its ability to play beautiful game, severely lack fire power. Many strikers have come and gone but most of them fail to fit into Ajax’s system. The last reliable striker Ajax had was Ibrahimovic, now at Juventus. In fact, Ibrahimovic says Juventus may be bigger than Ajax, but the pressure on a striker is much heavier in Amsterdam.

There’s high hope that Huntelaar won’t disappoint as how Sonck was and how Charisteas, the Greek hero during Euro 2004 is. This is especially so when Steven Pienaar, Hatem Trabelsi and Nigel de Jong are leaving Ajax at the end of the season. Apart from that, this season has somewhat been a borderline disaster for Ajax. Currently sixth and a game in hand, if Huntelaar performs and Ajax ride on its recovery momentum, things might brighten a bit.

With a little bit of lucky, Ajax might even claw back into the top three. And since Huntelaar is eligible for Ajax’s Champions League campaign, if he is as good as a lot of Ajacied are hoping he is, a semifinal for Ajax might not be too much to ask.

p/s – well, something bad is happening. Score ties at one all, 20 minutes into the second half and Huntelaar has yet to shine.

pp/s – What. The. F-… (via)

Categories
ASEAN Humor

[685] Of Malaysian imperialism… err… federalism: ASEAN

Ever wonder why an ASEAN Charter is being cooked up only 38 years after the formation of ASEAN? Ever wonder why it was Mahathir, Malaysian former prime minister, that first gave serious consideration to a formation of loose East Asian trade confederation? Ever wonder why all these are happenning only when Malaysia holds ASEAN’s chair?

There’s only one answer: it’s Malaysian imperialism gone wild!

I don’t know about you but I feel Malaysia is personally responsible in bringing Southeast Asian together. Don’t believe me?

Remember before 1963, when there was Malaya? And then suddenly, there was Malaysia. Indonesia and the Philippines protested. Indonesia went further down the road and declared hostility against Malaysia. At the same thing, there was Malphilindo – a precursor of ASEAN – that main purpose was to cool down the mercury. Malphilindo was a smokescreen to ensure Malaysian survival – nothing else. Malphilindo failed but so did Indonesian hostility against Malaysia. Then, it was ASEAN.

Scholars believe that ASEAN at first was formed to counter communist insurgency which was rampant in Vietnam. Don’t believe those scholars. They were paid by Malaysian agents to further the cause of Malaysian imperialism. ASEAN is formed primarily to guarantee Malaysia’s dominance of Southeast Asian politics.

That’s why when Singapore outdid us in economic development, we were furious and hold grunges against the people down south. We were also disappointed that Brunei turned down an offer to join the Malaysian Federation in 1963. And we funded the rebels in Mindanao when the Philippines tried to encourage separatist movement in Sabah. All these challenged Malaysian ambition.

After our failure to expand Malaysian dominance to Singapore and Brunei, we started to realize that federation is not the answer to ensure Malaysian superiority over Southeast Asia. We found three other more effective ways to expand our frontiers.

First was economic cooperation. Ever wonder the percentage of lands owned by Malaysian corporations in Indonesian Sumatra? Ever wonder why Malaysia, instead had joint-exploration agreement in the disputed areas in the Gulf of Thailand with Thailand? In spite of the gulf is actually named after Thailand? Got you thinking, didn’t I?

Second, claiming more areas and bringing them up to International Court of Justice. ICJ is a Malaysian puppet. The Americans know this and that’s why they refuse to submit to the ICJ. Remember Sipadan and the other island? Does Pulau Batu Putih ring a bell? Ever wonder why Malaysia refuses to give up Tanjung Pagar to Singapore despite the fact that it’s in Singapore? How about Ambalat? Spratly?

Third, funding of rebels. Mindanao, Aceh, southern Thailand. You think Malaysia doesn’t have a hand on it? Isn’t it a bit suspicious that all these provinces are located near Malaysian borders?

Unfortunately, the three methods take years, decade and perhaps centuries to realize Malaysian imperialism.

Hence, come the ultimate strategy, which is political and economic integration of Southeast Asia. Here is where ASEAN and the charter come into play. An ASEAN charter sets to pave a way to a more integrated Southeast Asian communitee. C’mon. Think.

Furthermore, when Myanmar gets into trouble, who is always there first? Malaysia. At the current WTO negoatiation, who represents ASEAN’s interest? Malaysia. Some others too. Despite Malaysia has merely 24 million citizens while Thailand, Indonesia and the Philippines have more than 60 million people each – Indonesia has more than 200 million people! -, how on do you explain Malaysian dominance in ASEAN? How could 24 million people control half a billion people in Southeast Asia?

Malaysian hands are the invisible hands within ASEAN. In reality, ASEAN is just another name for Persekutuan Malaysia Raya – Greater Malaysian Federation. The name isn’t Greater Malaysian Federation because we don’t want to alarm those in the other member states. From the look of it, it’s working sublimely.

Previously, I had proposed ascension of Brunei, annexation of Sumatra, invitation to several troubled Malay Thai states and reintegration of Singapore into the Union. This was the situation:

Mohd Hafiz Noor Shams. Some rights reserved

In reality, Malaysia really is:

Mohd Hafiz Noor Shams. Some rights reserved

LOL! Watch out Australia!

Categories
Humor Photography

[682] Of when a conservative comes to a university…

They’ll get booed. Well, maybe not all but Ann Coulter sure had earful. She also brilliantly called her audience stupid. No. She actually called her audience stupider.

Ann Coulter to hecklers: You’re stupider than I am

STORRS, Connecticut (AP) — Conservative columnist Ann Coulter cut short a speech at the University of Connecticut amid boos and jeers, and decided to hold a question-and-answer session instead.

“I love to engage in repartee with people who are stupider than I am,” Coulter told the crowd of 2,600 Wednesday.

Boo!

Somebody at Norwich Bulletin wrote something marvelous about the uber-polemicist’s speech:

The UConn College Republicans’ stated reason for inviting Coulter to speak, for $16,000, was to promote conservative thought on campus. In actuality, they paid for a circus, and they got one.

Right on.

Too bad she graduated from Michigan.