December 23rd, 2007 by Hafiz Noor Shams
Something to start off the day (via):
WASHINGTON—In an unexpected reversal that environmentalists and scientists worldwide are calling groundbreaking, President George W. Bush, for the first time in his political career, openly admitted to the existence of carbon dioxide following the release of the new U.N. Global Environment Outlook this October.
Because carbon dioxide, which was first described by 17th-century Flemish physician Jan Baptista van Helmont as a gas he referred to as “spiritus silvestre,” has long been denied by the Bush administration, the president’s speech was widely hailed as a victory for advocates of empirically established scientific fact.
Many of those whom Bush has long considered to be his most loyal followers, however, have expressed disappointment with the development.
“There is nothing about any ‘carbon dioxide’ in the Bible,” said Rev. Luke Hatfield of Christchurch Ministries in Topeka, KS. “What’s next? Claims that so-called ‘fossil’ fuels come from mythical creatures like dinosaurs? This has been a sad step backward for our nation.” [Bush Acknowledges Existence Of Carbon Dioxide. The Onion. December 21 2007]